


Standard Deviation

by holographic_meatloaf



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Brotp, all aboard the late night train of thought, next stop: procrastination station, raph and don haven't had an episode together yet though so this is all just speculation on my part, still terrible at summaries, to spongebob: well here you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:14:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holographic_meatloaf/pseuds/holographic_meatloaf
Summary: When there are too many questions to ask, not everything can be accounted for.(Nonspecific look at Raph from Donnie's perspective)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	Standard Deviation

**Author's Note:**

> Been thinking about Rise lately, I like it a lot and I hope it comes back soon. I miss these guys.

Donnie often considered himself to be fairly, if not infinitely knowledgeable in a vast array of different subjects, ranging from biology to mechanics to “interesting but literally useless” trivia. But one of the things he had yet to wrap his brain around was his brother Raphael.

Admittedly, he had handed him his 20 dollars well before he had even thought to ask why he would even want to shove an important, versatile piece of tech up his nose, but the question still re-entered his thoughts in passing long after it had been forgotten about, among other things. Like why Raph took immense pride in how many marshmallows he could cram into his mouth but not in how many brothers he could cram into his arms when things inevitably went south. Or how he allowed his giant heart to bleed endlessly over the smallest little things, yet wiped away at stains quickly as though he were ashamed of them, usually after taking the largest hits that were meant for him.

He remembered being bitter and angry and jealous of how Raph seemed to have all the strength and durability in the world but nothing to do with it but stand around and remind him of his own limitations every time he managed to forget them for a while. But where Donatello hid his weaknesses, Raph embraced his own, embellished them, because the love he had to give was much stronger than any failure, any barrier, any metal exterior he could ever hope to craft, and they all knew it.

He never figured out how he just always seemed to know in a way Donnie could only be sure through trial and error. And as many errors as there were on his part (much as he loathed to admit it), each time Raph was there, steady and consistent, and the answers he desperately sought after made him wonder why he was ever asking questions in the first place. 

He never understood how he felt so inexplicably safe around someone as clumsy and rough as him, how the same arm he had used to punch Draxum hard enough to imprint a concrete wall would carry him to bed on particularly long nights, when the weight upon his back became too much to bear alone. On nights where he felt truly lost and confused because nothing made any sense at all anymore how was he was able to take refuge in this, a more manageable mystery, but a mystery nonetheless?

These, he supposed, were the million-dollar questions, that he was certain even Raph likely couldn’t explain. He just _was_. Maybe one day he’d get around to solving the anomaly, but it never grated on him the way it would his other projects because it was never something he allowed himself to get hung up on. Constants were constants for a reason, he supposed, even if he couldn’t explain how they came to be.

Raph certainly made his life easier in that regard, and that was enough to satisfy his inquisitive mind, at least until the next incident occurred.

Science was all about data, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why I always get so nervous posting stuff on here but here you go, take care y'all


End file.
